When my firstborn hit the 2-month mark and started sleeping 6 hours straight, I felt as though I hit the jack pot! As a first-time mom, I didn’t have much to compare it to, so looking back I took it for granted.
For nearly five years, my daughter slept through the night without a peep. Then, right as she was approaching her fifth birthday, everything changed. Suddenly, bedtime became a battleground, and I quickly realized—kids aren't as unaware of their surroundings at 5 as they were at 2. TV exposure, what they hear and see at school, daycare, and even at places like Home Depot (hello, creepy Halloween decorations!) started to fuel those fears and anxieties.
Once the lights went out (even with nightlights) and she was alone in her room, those little fears became very real. Before I knew it, my little one was crawling into my bed, seeking comfort. It's so hard to say no when they're so cute and cuddly, but after a while, it was clear this wasn’t working for anyone—especially me.
Some nights, as we walked away from her bedroom the crying was intense. I’m talking full-on ugly crying with hyperventilation. There were moments when she just couldn’t stop, and my heart would break. In those moments, I had to stay calm, hold her close, and count to at least 30 without saying a word. I would then help her breathe through the storm. We also started counting sheep (we got creative and made the sheep all sorts of fun colors to keep it interesting). With my hand on her heart, she would slowly drift off to sleep, but then wake up after midnight and come back into my bed.
After nearly 4 months of this, my back and hip were aching, and I’d wake up with a kink in my neck. I was exhausted. As much as I wanted to comfort her, I also needed rest to be the best version of myself during the day (no one wants a cranky mommy!).
So, what did we do? How did we turn this around and get everyone the sleep they needed?
I came up with a three-pronged approach that worked for us—and it can work for you too.
1. Daily Incentives: Make It Fun and Rewarding - Each night my daughter slept in her own bed, she got to put a sticker on the calendar AND, my personal favorite, a vitamin C-packed organic lollipop (because everybody loves a sweet little treat). It kept her motivated!
2. Big Picture Goal: The Ultimate Reward - After 30 consecutive nights of staying in her bed, the big reward was a brand-new bed! The long-term goal kept her engaged, and the excitement of what was coming next helped her push through the nightly struggles. She wanted to feel all grown up in her bigger bed.
3. The Glow Bears Sleep Aid: The Secret Weapon - A comfy, cuddly bear with a child-activated nightlight was just the comfort my daughter needed to stay in bed. Sometimes, all it takes is a little soothing glow and a snuggly companion to calm those nighttime nerves. It was a game-changer for us, when she would wake in the middle of the night she would turn the glow light on the bear and snuggle with it to fall back asleep. It helped both my daughter and us, as parents get the sleep we all desperately needed.
The Takeaway: Nighttime Fears Are Totally Normal - Nighttime fears and anxiety are super common at this age, even for kids who were previously great sleepers. My daughter’s fear wasn’t something we could just ignore, but with some patience and creative solutions, we got back on track. And I know every family’s situation is different, but know that you’re not alone.
It takes a village! Sharing my story in case it helps another mom. 💕
Supporting Sources:
Research indicates that around age 5, children begin to develop more vivid imaginations and a heightened awareness of their surroundings, which can contribute to increased nighttime fears and anxiety. A study found that 73.3% of children reported experiencing nighttime fears, highlighting their prevalence during this developmental stage. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945711002565?utm_
Additionally, another study observed that fears related to scary dreams and imaginary creatures tend to decrease with age, while concerns about frightening thoughts and personal harm become more prominent. This shift suggests that as children's cognitive abilities evolve, so do the nature of their fears. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2007.03.013
Understanding these developmental changes can help parents and caregivers provide appropriate support to children experiencing nighttime fears, fostering a sense of security and promoting healthy sleep habit